March 26, 2009

Last night my family and I returned from a lovely and long overdue vacation to Florida.  This morning, I'm having a little trouble readjusting to real life including the suitcases full of dirty clothes that need washing, the refrigerator empty of food that needs filling, which will inevitably lead to meals which must be cooked, and on to the dishes which will have to be washed, and on and on and on...

But I always try to look at things in a positive light, so I've been making a mental list of all the reasons I'm glad to be back home and thought I'd share that with you.

1) Finally getting a good internet connection.

2) The pillows on my bed at home don't leave me with a sore neck in the morning.

3) There's no humidity in Connecticut.  I'm having the best hair day I've had in a week.

4) Vacations make you fat.  Another week and I'd have had to buy new jeans.

5) No one is EVER as happy to see me as my spaniel. 

March 18, 2009

Because I've written so often and so warmly about the joys and importance of friendships among women, many people have come to think I have scads of close girlfriends in my life and we all get together every weekend to quilt, drink pinot noir, and braid each other's hair.  

Not so.

I do have close friends, but not many.  Not because I wouldn't want that but because, early on, I realized that true friendship is a commitment that requires focus, understanding and, most importantly, time. With three kids, a husband, and a career, time is never something I've had much of and lately it is in shorter supply than ever.  

That's why, many years ago, I adopted the "Marie's Ten Relationship Rule".  Actually, I'm not sure if I invented this or heard it somewhere and made it my own, but the basic premise is that a person really can't have more than ten meaningful relationships at one time.  The key word here is "meaningful".  I've know and like tons and tons of people, those are my acquaintances.  They make my life richer and much more interesting but, my close friends are few.  After I subtract the spots needed for relationships with my immediate family, you can see just how few.  I know this seems odd to some people and some of my friends have accused me of being exclusive, but I actually think my policy points to how deeply I value friendship.  I choose my friends carefully.  And when I do make a friend, my intention is that we'll be friends for life.

But, sometimes the best of intentions aren't enough.  And sometimes even the best of friends fall out. That happened to me a few years ago.  A dear and beloved friend and I did and said some things that damaged our friendship in ways that, at the time, seemed irreparable.  It was awful.  Right after the incident, I tried, very ineptly, to patch things up between us, but it wasn't to be.  I tried to resign myself to the fact that the relationship was over for good but still...there was this void in my life.  I missed my friend. Weeks and months and even years did nothing to change that.  

Recently, I heard that my old friend had had some wonderful news.  I was truly happy for her and wanted to tell her so, but I hesitated, afraid of being rebuffed and getting my feelings hurt.  Finally, I took a deep breath and sent her a short note of congratulations. I'm so glad I did.

The doors opened.  Messages went back and forth.  Yesterday, we got together and it was just like old times - but better.  We're both more mature now, more giving and forgiving, happier, wiser, more honest, more trusting.  It was the best day I've had in a long, long, long time.  I felt like the missing piece of the puzzle had been replaced and the picture finally made sense.  

But, if I'd given into fear, failed to follow my instincts and tentatively stick out that olive branch, the void would still be with me.  I'm glad I took a chance on friendship.  True friends are one of the few things in life that are worth the cost of keeping.

March 13, 2009

So, this is a list of books that (supposedly) the BBC published asserting that the average person has only read six out of the 100 titles.  I found it on the web and there seem to be several versions of said list but I have tried to find the actual BBC list and I think it probably is because it seems very British and all.  (If I have this wrong and it isn't the original list, please don't write and tell me. This is just for fun.)

So, I put this up because I thought you might have fun with it.  How many have you read? 

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
*

2. Pride and Prejudice, JaneAusten
*

3. His DarkMaterials, Philip Pullman


4. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to theGalaxy, Douglas Adams


5. Harry Potter and theGoblet of Fire, JK Rowling
*

6. ToKill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
*

7. Winniethe Pooh, AA Milne
*

8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, GeorgeOrwell
*

9. The Lion, the Witch and theWardrobe, CS Lewis
*

10. JaneEyre, Charlotte Brontë
*

11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
*

12.Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë


13.Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks


14. Rebecca,Daphne du Maurier


15. TheCatcher In the Rye, JD Salinger


16. TheWind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
*

17. Great Expectations, CharlesDickens
*

18. Little Women, Louisa MayAlcott
*

19. CaptainCorelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres


20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
*

21. Gone with the Wind, MargaretMitchell
*

22. Harry Potter And ThePhilosopher’s [Sorcerer's in USA] Stone, JK Rowling
*

23. Harry Potter And The ChamberOf Secrets, JK Rowling
*

24. Harry Potter And The PrisonerOf Azkaban, JK Rowling
*

25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
*

26. TessOf The D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
*

27. Middlemarch, George Eliot


28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, JohnIrving
*

29. The Grapes Of Wrath, JohnSteinbeck
*

30. Alice’sAdventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
*

31. The StoryOf Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson


32. OneHundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez


33. The Pillars Of The Earth,Ken Follett


34. David Copperfield, CharlesDickens
*

35. Charlie And The ChocolateFactory, Roald Dahl
*

36. Treasure Island, Robert LouisStevenson


37. A TownLike Alice, Nevil Shute


38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
*

39. Dune,Frank Herbert


40. Emma, Jane Austen
*

41. Anne Of Green Gables, LMMontgomery


42. Watership Down, Richard Adams


43. The Great Gatsby, F ScottFitzgerald
*

44. The Count Of Monte Cristo,Alexandre Dumas


45. Brideshead Revisited,Evelyn Waugh


46. Animal Farm, George Orwell


47. A Christmas Carol, CharlesDickens
*

48. Far FromThe Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy


49.Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian


50. TheShell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher


51. The Secret Garden, FrancesHodgson Burnett
*                               

52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck


53. TheStand, Stephen King


54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy


55. ASuitable Boy, Vikram Seth


56. TheBFG, Roald Dahl
*

57. SwallowsAnd Amazons, Arthur Ransome


58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell


59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer


60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky


61. NoughtsAnd Crosses, Malorie Blackman


62. Memoirs Of A Geisha,Arthur Golden
*

63. A Tale Of Two Cities, CharlesDickens
*

64. TheThorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
*

65. Mort,Terry Pratchett


66. TheMagic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton


67. TheMagus, John Fowles


68. GoodOmens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman


69. Guards!Guards!, Terry Pratchett


70. Lordof The Flies, William Golding
*

71. Perfume,Patrick Süskind


72. TheRagged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell


73. NightWatch, Terry Pratchett


74. Matilda,Roald Dahl
*

75. BridgetJones’s Diary, Helen Fielding


76. TheSecret History, Donna Tartt


77. TheWoman In White, Wilkie Collins


78. Ulysses,James Joyce


79. BleakHouse, Charles Dickens
*

80. DoubleAct, Jacqueline Wilson


81. TheTwits, Roald Dahl
*

82. ICapture The Castle, Dodie Smith


83. Holes,Louis Sachar


84.Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake


85. TheGod of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
*

86. VickyAngel, Jacqueline Wilson


87. BraveNew World, Aldous Huxley


88. ColdComfort Farm, Stella Gibbons


89.Magician, Raymond E Feist


90. On TheRoad, Jack Kerouac


91. TheGodfather, Mario Puzo
*

92. TheClan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
*

93. TheColour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett


94. TheAlchemist, Paulo Coelho


95.Katherine, Anya Seton


96. Kane AndAbel, Jeffrey Archer


97. Love inThe Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez


98. Girls inLove, Jacqueline Wilson


99. ThePrincess Diaries, Meg Cabot


100.Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie

March 11, 2009

A Reading Friend wrote this morning and made a very good point. She said, "We don't realize how little acts of kindness can change a person life."

Boy, isn't that the truth!  

Many years ago, I was a young mother of two toddlers, newly moved to suburban Texas.  My family was far, far away, my husband worked long hours, and we only had one car, which my husband needed to get to work, so I was incredibly lonely and isolated.

One day, while taking the kids out in the stroller (pretty much the only time I got out of the house during the day) I met a very kind woman.  She was probably twenty-five years my senior, but at one time in her life she'd had four little ones in diapers at once (a handicapped child, twin toddlers, and a baby) and remembered what it was like.  She offered to give me rides to the grocery store and later, she invited me to join her Sweet Adelines singing group, also giving me lifts to rehearsals.  I was the youngest member of the group by far, but those gals were great to me and my kids.  Going to Sweet Adeline practice was the highlight of my week.

That was so many years ago that I can't remember that good Samaritan's full name, but her first name was Mary Dell.  She is the reason I chose to name one of the characters in A SINGLE THREAD Mary Dell Templeton, a true-blue Texan with a great big heart and the earrings to go with it.  That character is a small tribute to a dear lady whose little acts of kindness made such a difference in my life.  And while symbolic gestures are all well and good, I try to honor that Mary Dell's kindness in more tangible ways - opening the door for a woman who is trying to manhandle a huge stroller and a crabby toddler at the same time, inviting a young mom over for a first quilting lesson and a few kid-free hours of adult companionship, or making a surprise pot of chicken soup for a neighbor who is ailing.  Little things, sure.  But sometimes little things can mean a lot.

Who are the people whose little kindnesses have made a difference in your life?  How do you seek to do unto others as those people did unto you?  Something worth thinking about.  If you want to live a life that makes a big difference, paying attention to the little things is a pretty good place to start.

March 8, 2009

Obviously, my writing schedule has been keeping me away from blogging.  In fact, it's been keeping me from a lot of things, such as cleaning my house.  

Generally, I kind of let things go when I'm deep in writing mode and then do a big clean up and out before beginning the next book.  However, for about the last three books, I haven't really had any break between one manuscript and the next so stuff has been gathering in little piles on every flat surface in my house.  Today, I decided I couldn't stand it any more and, in a fit of pre-Spring enthusiasm, decided to clear the clutter.

Dismantling the piles, I've discovered various letters (as yet unanswered), a couple of knitting and quilting projects (including a finished quilt top I thought I'd lost), bags filled with fabric for two baby quilts I should have started weeks ago, two birthday gifts I should have mailed in the same time frame, some dvd's, thread, rotary cutter blades, school schedules, invitations for events that have already passed, and sticky notes reminding me to do things whose importance now escapes me.  However, as I've been sorting out the piles, I've discovered that the biggest category of clutter is books.  Lots and lots and lots of books.  

I'm very interested in organic gardening and the slow food movement, and my bookshelf reflects that. Titles rescued from the pile include  -  ALL NEW SQUARE FOOT GARDENING, ROOT CELLARING, FOUR SEASON HARVEST, MICRO ECO-FARMING, and THE NEW ORGANIC GROWER.  I've read all of these. Hopefully, my garden will soon reflect it.

In the theological category we have, THE HOLY BIBLE (New American Standard Version) DESIGNING A WOMAN'S LIFE, A CHANCE TO DIE, JONATHAN EDWARDS, and THE ONE YEAR WOMAN'S FRIENDSHIP DEVOTIONAL.  

There's also a little non-fiction including THE DUCHESS, AMERICAN LION, ANGLER, LOST HISTORY, and AN INNOCENT - A BROAD, CHARLES DICKENS:  THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS, MORE TEXAS SAYINGS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT (for research, Mary Dell Templeton from the Cobbled Court novels, talks Texas most of the time), LITTLE HEATHENS, and various craft and pattern books including KNITTING THE EASY WAY and 50 FABULOUS PAPER PIECED STARS.

Finally, there is a large selection of fiction in various stages of completion including A COMMONER, HANDLE WITH CARE, SHANNON, SONATA FOR MIRIAM, THE SULTAN'S SEAL, MULBERRY PARK, A CHRISTMAS MEMORY (which points to the fact that yes, I truly haven't cleared the clutter since at least Christmas, if not before), THE SHIKSA SYNDROME, IT'S ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, and THE STORY OF EDGAR SAWTELLE. 

Oh, and when I picked up my voice mail messages, I had one from the bookstore saying that the books I'd ordered - Eurdora Welty's ON WRITING (which I'm now thinking might not be the book I'd intended to order - Judy was that right?) and THE QUILTS OF GEES BEND.

So, I'm thinking it might be a good idea not to order any more books for a while.  At least until I can buy some more bookshelves.